Becoming A Dad

Last week the whole Becoming-A-Family went to France for a short vacation. Becoming-A-Mom and Juliette left on Tuesday; Becoming-A-Dad followed on Saturday. We returned to Dublin on Tuesday evening.

During this trip one of Juliette’s aunt’s realized that she was saying “encore” or “core” when she wanted more – food, water, or to do something again. When we thought about it we realized that she’s been saying it for a while but we didn’t clue in.

Anyhow she seems to be going through another development stage – as usual it seems to coincide with vacations and teething. She’s picking up new little tricks as well as changes in her personality.

During this little vacation Juliette became very clingy and would cry or get upset if Becoming-A-Mom or I strayed more than 10 feet or so from her. Even if we were in sight she’d get up and move to be closer. And when I arrived after she’d been away with Becoming-A-Mom for a few days, she stuck to me like glue, wanting me to hold her and play with her. Given the choice between me or Mom she’d come over and want me to do whatever. Very ego-boosting for me but also a bit tiring after a while!

Now that we’re back home she’s settled down back to her routine – she was SO happy to see her room, toys and our apartment. She had a huge smile on her face and was laughing and dancing around… she stayed up much later than usual and had a full sleep through the night for a change. It was a really cute home-coming.

I forgot to write about this earlier.

Juliette occasionally has little raised red points on her skin. They might be grouped with a dozen or so in a patch, such as on her chest or neck area. On her torso I’ve noticed them more spread out, like very widely-spaced goosebumps (they’re smaller and a bit more pointed and usually reddish). I can usually feel them when she’s having her bath and I’m soaping her up. A very widely-spaced hives perhaps – with at least an inch between most bumps.

We haven’t really figured out what they are. But now I’m pretty sure they’re related to allergic reactions to foods. She hasn’t shown any strong signs of anaphylaxis which is good, but I have had a long-standing but intermittent history of anaphylactic reactions to certain foods like celery, tree fruits, almonds, hazelnuts and some other foods. The strange thing is that most of those allergies suddenly disappeared about 6 years ago and continue to be absent. However almonds and hazelnuts will sometimes trigger very slight reactions but not always.

Juliette seems to follow my food sensitivities. I break out in hives from fresh mango though I love them (I’ve been known to take antihistamines for a couple days just so I can eat fresh mangos). Juliette had a mango fruit mixture which she seemed to enjoy but then didn’t finish which is uncharacteristic for her.

A few days back Becoming-A-Mom made a delicious Hachis of salmon and leek. Juliette loved it but the next day showed those little bumps on her body and on her cheeks. And then she refusedto eat it again when we reheated the leftovers.

And finally a couple of days ago we had a yummy pasta dish made from cream, leeks and smoked salmon mixed with pasta. Juliette ate lots of smoked salmon while Becoming-A-Mom was preparing it, then a large bowl of it for dinner. Later though she was passing lots of gas and acting unhappy, then cried as though in pain when we put her to bed. Nothing really settled her down until Becoming-A-Mom gave her some Tylenol then she nursed a bit and fell asleep.

I am pretty sure she’s having a reaction to the salmon. Or the leeks possibly. I hope these are just passing things and she will grow out of them. But in the mean time we’re not feeding her salmon or leeks.

Okay, it’s getting ridiculous. Our “baby” Juliette – all of 16 months and some odd days old – has set her sights upon becoming a fully-independent person as soon as possible.

Up until now it’s been stages of change – she won’t eat baby-food mush anymore but wants to eat what we’re eating, she won’t let us feed her unless it’s exceptional circumstances, she doesn’t want us to hold her hand except to go up and down stairs… the list goes on.

And she just decided to add to it tonight. She’s been teething – big molars popping out of her upper jaw, canines showing through her lower – and cranky. She’s not sleeping through the night again but waking up around midnight shrieking, and last night she wouldn’t calm down or go back to bed. She wouldn’t even accept Becoming-A-Mom’s breasts! (I tell you, Becoming-A-Mom was a bit hurt by that). And she made it very clear that she wasn’t about to drink any baby Tylenol either – she pushed the spoon away and made spitting noises, telling us that if we dared to put that in her mouth she’d spit it out.

So eventually Becoming-A-Mom decided to try letting her watch a Baby Einstein DVD. That worked – and in a few minutes Juliette calmed down enough to take a spoonful of Tylenol.

Tonight? Nope. She screamed and thrashed and ran away and yelled and made to grab the spoon (which was full). Every attempt to hold her hands or get her to open up to drink the Tylenol was for naught, and she was a Very Angry Girl. Finally we poured it back into the bottle and let her grab the spoon.

Now all was well! No more crying, thrashing or otherwise. So Becoming-A-Mom poured the Tylenol into the spoon as Juliette held it, and Voila! Tylenol taken with nary a yell or protest!

Such a simple task, such a great victory. And man, am I ever tired.

Juliette’s been sleeping much better in the past month that before. She now sleeps almost through the night (HURRAH!) – she goes to bed at about 8 pm and doesn’t usually wake until around  6 am when she wants to nurse (yes, still). Then she goes back to sleep until 7:30 or 8 am. It’s a definite relief from the waking at midnight then 4:30 am then 6 am…

But in the past week or two she’s been waking up crying. One night about 10 days ago she was completely inconsolable and crying her heart out, making those “I’m in pain” cries while fishing about in her mouth with her fingers. Finally we noticed that her upper molars are starting to cut through – her right side started showing first, then about 4 or 5 days later the left. Those molars are still in the process of pushing through – they must hurt as they look positively HUGE.

Things settled down a bit and we started giving her Tylenol at bedtime if we noticed she was grumpy or chewing a lot on her fingers.

Then a couple days ago I noticed that her lower right canine tooth had emerged! The left side is showing a bump on the gums but not cutting through yet. She’s been acting fussy about food too so I think it’s been hard for her to chew certain things.

It’s all perfectly timed as well. Every other time she’s been teething we’ve been on vacation and travelling. This time is no exception – she’s off to France with Becoming-A-Mom on Tuesday to visit that side of the family. I catch up on Saturday for a couple of days then we all come home together.

Funny how vacations and teething seem to go hand-in-hand.

Well, in the interval between now and the last post our little Juliette has added more words to her repertoire. She now says “peek-a-boo”, “uh-oh!”, “oh no” and “E-I-O” (not quite E-I-E-I-O but pretty darned close).

I still have times when I swear she says something else, something unexpected and a complicated word. She’ll be busy doing something and utter the word then continue on with babble and not repeat it… so I’m not sure whether it’s my mind playing tricks on me or whether she’s really doing it.

She also sings to us – at first it was her making noises to the tune of “London Bridge” but that’s changed in the last couple of days to be “Old MacDonald”. It’s directly a result of us singing those songs to her as part of her nighttime ritual.

It’s very cute – she’ll be standing or walking around somewhere and just start singing to herself like we might hum a tune absently. I can’t help but smile when that happens.

We’ve got a new addition to the vocabulary. In addition to “NO!” (very emphatic, depending on the situation) we now have the well-used “Noy-yoi-yoi-yoi-yoi-yoi”.

This particular word combination is used when “No!” is not enough to convey the depths of her displeasure with the situation at hand. It’s usually preceding or accompanying a dramatic display of complete exasperation with us, otherwise known as a tantrum.

Here’s an actual scenario when one might hear this new utterance: when in the shopping centre and it’s time to move on. Run after Juliette and stoop down to pick her up – “Noy-yoi-yoi-yoi-yoi!!” – which roughly translates to “Bugger off, I’m not finished yet!” It’s very quickly followed by screaming and crying while arching her back, kicking and thrashing about. The intent is to let her continue to do what she wants to do, in case anyone was unclear.

So, while I welcome the additional communication avenue, I’m finding it a bit negative.

I’m beginning to wonder whether having me in my Becoming-A-Dad role is such a healthy thing for little Juliette…

In the past 2 weeks she’s suffered a number of bang-ups and minor calamities when I’m around, specifically when I’m either playing with her or trying to get her under control. For instance last weekend we went to the National Botanical Gardens where Juliette wanted to run away and do her own thing. I was chasing her to put her hat back on (strangely enough, it’s been very sunny and warm here in Dublin so we’ve been concerned about her getting sunburnt of all things). I plopped it on her head as she was running away from me. She kept running but was trying to pull the hat off at the same time, took a mis-step and went SMACK on her face on the pavement. Ow! She didn’t get her hands up in time and banged her mouth into the ground which caused her to have abrasions on her upper lip and cuts on the inside of the lip from her teeth.

Needless to say, neither Becoming-A-Dad nor Juliette were terribly pleased, so poor Juliette cried while covering me with little spots of blood to remind me of what a terrible guy I was.

Fast forward to Wednesday night… I got home reasonably early for a change (before 7 pm! wow!). So I was playing with Juliette before her bedtime – she was running around her bedroom and I was pretending to chase her on all fours, making loud footstep noises. Again she stumbled and headed face-first into a little side table, again breaking her fall with her face. Not a lot of tears this time, but the souvenir is a nice shiner on her left eye.

It’s her upper eyelid/eyebrow that got beaned, so I don’t think it hurt as much as it might have had she hit lower on her face. It’s been kind of fascinating to watch – changing colour over the past few days, from deep red to blue to purple and today, purple with green edging. So this is Juliette’s first black eye. And once again I feel somewhat responsible for this latest injury.

*sigh*

Our precious Juliette (I say that somewhat sarcastically) has started to speak. Mostly babble, but there are some recognizable words being spoken. On occasion she’s said things like “peek-a-boo”, “mama”, “papa”, and now “NO!” Sometimes we’re not sure if she’s really saying a word or not – it can be a quiet but clearly-enunciated “peek-a-boo” one moment and then a “mee-bahow” the next… so was it a trick of our ears or not? Overly-proud Becoming-A-Dad hearing what he wants to hear or was it real?

The one word that has gained real prominence in the last 2 days (for me, anyhow) is her saying “NO!” to us when she doesn’t want to eat or do something. She’s becoming clearer and clearer with that word – today especially I was under no delusions that she was saying no.

I’m now bracing myself for the next year or so of “NO!” to be followed quickly by a year or two of “Why?” and then another 30 years of “NO!”

Oh, and Happy Father’s Day to all those other dads out there!

A new development: Juliette is now helping us out around the home. She’s taken to “putting things away” her way. This can range from putting her toys back into the toy bins, to dropping her sippy-cups into the toy bins, to placing her sippy cup in some of the lower kitchen cupboards.

Two days ago it was her blue sippy cup (she has 2, a blue and a pink one). She decided the blue one should be in the cupboard with the dish cloths and her bibs, so there it stayed for a day or so until we found it.

Right now we have yet to find where she put her large ball – this thing is about 25 cm in diameter and covered with bright pictures of parrots and macaws, so it’s not exactly hard to find. Normally. But for the past day we have not been able to find it! We’ve looked behind the TV, in the bathrooms, behind the beds, in the cloths wardrobes (she’s able to open them and loves to hide sitting on the lowest shelves), and in most of the places we think she should be able to reach. So far it remains elusive.

There is the very remote chance that she threw it over the balcony, but we haven’t see it outside and that would really be a stretch. With a good wind and the power of the space aliens she might have been able to bounce it over the railings, but we haven’t seen it outside either.

So, while we welcome the “help” it’s become our latest adjustment to having a 15 month old girl ruling the house. At very least it adds an aura of mystery to our lives. Not that we needed any additional excitement!

We’ve now been in Dublin for what, 7 weeks? And in the last week or so our little darling has apparently undergone another space alien software upgrade during one of the nights. Like the other upgrades that came before, she seems to have started these new or increased behaviours overnight.

Even though I’ve remarked before that she has a strong personality, it’s becoming more pronounced. She has definite likes and dislikes, and is expressing her independence in somewhat troubling ways.

She no longer wants to hold our hands when out walking – she’ll wiggle and pull her hand back, slapping us away. And if that doesn’t work, she’ll start to voice her displeasure with increasing volume, sitting down where she is and throwing a tantrum until we let her loose. This can be particularly distressing when walking along busy roads and in parking lots, and of course when it happens (with evil, calculated dramatic timing) in public places like shopping malls.

She also wants to feed herself. With at very least her own spoon, if not her fork (though the little plastic fork isn’t very sharp and is next to useless, imho). If she’s really hungry she will submit to us feeding her (she’s pragmatic here – as we can feed her faster than she can feed herself). Though after a dozen or so spoonfuls she starts refusing to eat and screaming until we hand over the spoon and allow her to now feed herself. I have to admit that she’s pretty good at it now, able to keep the spoon level enough to get 80% or so of the food into her mouth. And with the right yoghurt, she’s able to empty the cup almost clean.

She does still accept food from us as long as it’s on our fork though – she recognizes that it’s a Big Person utensil and is worthy of eating from.

And she’s developed a sense of food preferences. In fact when we give her food that she decides is unappealing for whatever reason, she’ll look at it with disapproval then shake her head “no!” before pushing the bowl away from her. It can be her favourite food that she’s just decided is boring, it can be yummy Big Person desserts that she thinks looks like pureed baby food, or it can be that she just decides for whatever reason she doesn’t want to try it. And then it’s frown, head-shake “no!”, push the bowl away and sometimes even vocalize her displeasure.

I could go on but it’s late at night and I don’t want to sit here much longer… so more later.