Santa

This weekend we took Juliette to Powerscourt Gardens, just south of Dublin, to meet up with Santa. We were told that the Santa experience here was better than at the malls with a bit more time spent and it isn’t in the middle of a noisy mall. It turned out to be rather nice. Or shall I say less bad than I expected?

Now, before we go to far, please keep in mind that I’ve more or less hated Christmas since before high school. All that stupid music, cheap flashy tinsel and semi-non-toxic carcinogenic fake snow, and everyone compulsively running around like meth addicts searching for a hit… Yeah. Not my idea of a good time. So when I hit high school I started to block it out. That ended like what, a quarter century ago? I don’t things have changed much except all the cheap plastic enviro-toxin decorations now come from China instead of the US and Japan.

No, I have not really embraced Christmas but having a child (and spouse) that like Christmas I am now trying to grin-and-bear it. So far it’s only Dec 4 and the whole thing is wearing thin. I mean really – is it necessary to start the decorations and music before Halloween even ends?? Come on! But I digress.

So we headed off to Powerscourt Gardens where we entered and immediately stood in a line that didn’t seem to move. A helpful sign just ahead of us read “Line Up for Santa 1-1/2 hours” which of course did not fill me with any great joy. However Juliette was fascinated by the decorations and the little musical diorama that was set up in the entrance. And she was even happier when the young woman standing next to a small table reached down and gave her a little felt Santa hat along with a chocolate coin.

Some 10 or 15 minutes passed before the line made any noticeable forward movement. Becoming-A-Mom kindly went off to the cafeteria and brought me back a nice hot cappuccino which I was mighty happy to see. By that point we were just in front of the payment desk, so we paid our €8.50 entrance fee (no, this did not include any photos) and got our ticket. I overheard that there were 20 children waiting and that it was going to be another hour before we got to see Santa. Things went a bit misty for a bit, with the interminable repetitions of various Christmas tunes causing me to hyperventilate. Internally I felt my spleen lurch upwards and start to strangle my frontal lobes.

We rounded the counter. Luckily in the main waiting area there was a big decorated Christmas tree with cushions and a TV playing some nameless saccharine-sweet animated nonsense. Even though the disk was corrupted and the show kept jumping back to the same point every 5 minutes, it was enough to keep the kids mesmerized and mostly quiet.

For her part, Juliette happily ran up to the tree, grabbed a cushion and then sat down in front of the branches, reaching up and touching the various decorations. She watched the TV a bit, but mostly spent her time fascinated by the tree. I handed her some cookies, then later she had a smoothy and she remained pretty sedate. The valium I was keeping for myself came in handy as I mixed them in with some candies and handed them out to the parents who were starting to twitch and act strangely, their heads snapping back and forth whenever it appeared that someone was moving towards their part of the line.

Time passed. The moon continued its lonely path across the sky. People aged. The sun shone brightly, casting warm amber rays which illuminated the crazed eyeballs of the parents standing next to me. I busied myself talking to Juliette who did her best to ignore me.

Suddenly we were at the front of the line! A pine-bough festooned hallway was in front of us, decorated with various chunks of plastics molded into flowers, pine cones and other festering festive shapes. We waited a bit more, then a woman dressed in a flowing red dress came gliding out to bring us into Santa’s enclave. We’d arrived!

Juliette suddenly turned into Shy Girl, a persona she slips into whenever she meets new people. She looked around the room which was richly coloured by dark burgundy curtains. There were shelves with lots of toys on the walls, and there in the middle of it all sat Santa in his big chair. With a bit of coaxing she said Hello to Santa, and with a bit more coaxing (holding Mom’s hand) she walked up to Santa and stood beside him. She didn’t dare touch or sit on him, though after a bit she did reach out and shake his hand.

Santa worked his magic, asking her if she’d been a good girl, whether she brushed her teeth every day (the Tooth Fairy asked him to check), whether he listened to her parents and so on. Santa asked her what she wanted for Christmas, but she was too shy to say. And then, Santa and his helper reached out and gave her a pre-Christmas gift for being such a good girl so far – a little Beanie Baby monkey!

Juliette’s eyes were filled with wonder and she carefully grasped the monkey with both hands, inspecting it closely. She didn’t say much except “thank you Santa!” when prompted, but you could tell she was in awe and completely entralled by her gift.

The next bit of time was trying to get some photos with Santa – no easy task as Juliette is pretty non-cooperative when it comes to modelling for cameras. The photos taken we gathered ourselves up and said a last good-bye and thank you to Santa and his helpers before we headed out.

Juliette spent the rest of the day cuddling and admiring her new baby monkey. And Becoming-A-Dad fantasized about the bottles of rum and whiskey he would be cuddling up to shortly.