Pregnancy is Irrational
Okay, now this is where it gets ridiculous to the extreme. And I’m not talking about something that I am going through. I’m talking about the crap that women go through as a result of pregnancy.
We’re at 29 weeks, with about 10 weeks to go depending on when Peach decides to stage an entrance (or is that exit?). And throughout these 29 weeks, she’s been experiencing some very uncomfortable, unsettling and downright crazy-ass things.
How’s this for a list? In no particular order:
- nausea and morning sickness
- swollen and sensitive nipples
- gas
- constipation
- heartburn
- reflux gastritis
- weird food cravings
- even weirder food and smell aversions
- weight gain
- gagging
- freaky belly quivers and pokes coming from inside
- irrational hunger pangs
- hot flashes
- swollen ankles and legs
- fatigue and lethargy
- disrupted and poor sleep
- peeing 3 drops at a time every 10 minutes
- a very strange and disturbing belly button
- hemarrhoids if you’re unlucky
- reduced immune response resulting in a urinary tract infection and fungus amongus
- low back pain
I mean really, with all these joys to face, why the hell do women want to have a baby at all? And even more incredible, they go on to have 2 or 3 or 4 of the little suckers. Knowing in advance what they’re going to suffer.
That’s where men and women differ. Men would definitely respond differently. You don’t see any Dads volunteering for this crap. Hell, if Dads went through this there wouldn’t be any kids. Well maybe one kid each if you didn’t tell us in advance, but no friggin’ way would we fall for that a second time. No siree, we’d be over the hill heading for somewhere warm and peaceful as soon as we’re able. Certainly not thinking “oh boy, wouldn’t it be great to have another?” Especially after getting hemarrhoids.
So you wanna-be Moms out there, heed this and run while you can. It’s bad and could be even worse if you’re unlucky.
Don’t say you haven’t been warned.
