Neighborhood Axe Murderers

Great. As we were heading to bed last night she made me close all the windows and lock up everything, despite it being the hottest weather we’ve had so far this year. I wanted to keep the windows open to cool off the house so the next day it wouldn’t be so hot inside, but she insisted that I secure all the windows and doors.

After I did so she finally admitted why. She’d had a bad dream the night before that someone had climbed in to our place through the window and murdered me in my sleep. Then the mysterious bad guy dragged her off into the night, even as she cried out “I’m pregnant! I’m pregnant!”

I found this vaguely funny but also disturbing. Why am I the one who gets hacked to death?