Meeting the Midwife

Went to the midwife clinic today for our first visit. It felt kind of strange walking in to what appeared to be a store with huge baby and pregnant mom pics all over. The receptionist was extremely young – early 20s – and she kind of looked at me strangely when I walked in behind her.

We had to sit and wait a bit. She grabbed some pamphlets on doulas, a private clinic that does blood tests and ultrasound scans, then handed me a “no scalpel – no needle – no cutting” vasectomy brochure. “Why are you handing me this?” I asked. “Are you trying to tell me something?”

She smiled, “you were talking about this.” Too bloody late now! I’d been teasing her that I was going to sneak off and have one done during a “business trip.”

The midwife was very nice – probably in her 50s, originally from Australia. She told us the way the system works and what the different options for birthing are – “unassisted” home birth (assisted by a non-recognized midwife/doula), midwife, GP (if they do births), OB-GYN. As well as the options of where to actually deliver – home, hospital, and how – natural, c-section etc. She was very straightforward and objective in her listing of various options, making it clear that her role was to assist with whatever option we decided on.

She also discussed a bit about what the blood tests were and their reliability (lots of false positives) and what happens if a positive is found (ultrasound, other tests, finally an amniocentisis). She also said we need to think about what we’re going to do if we get a positive result but not to panic if it’s the first test.

Then she talked about the birthing process and the realities of the pain. Trying to put it into perspective. “Birth is the easy part. The next 18 years is the hard part!”

She talked about how the pain really is intermittent – contractions, then nothing, contractions then nothing. And she reiterated that she’s not against c-sections or epidurals – that she’s here to support the one giving birth and she’ll do whatever it takes to comfort and support the process.

We made our next appointment for 5 weeks from now, got a order for blood and urine tests and that was it. We left feeling good – supported, and better informed on how the system works.

It was hot in the room and the pregnant one was feeling nauseous. I could tell by the look on her face that she wanted it to be over and to go home. Actually, I was feeling kind of queasy myself and wanted the midwife to quit talking so we could go home.

Finally we were done – the midwife opened the door and it got a bit cooler.

We arrived home and she immediately started cooking some dinner so that she had something in her stomach – that seems to quell the nausea.

Up until now it hasn’t felt real… but after the visit to the midwife things certainly feel more real and I have a twinge of fear. Things definitely aren’t going to be the same soon.